Grief Models for Counsellors: Worden, Dual Process and Continuing Bonds
Written by the ICPS College Academic Team · Reviewed by ICPS College faculty · Last reviewed: September 2026
Bereavement counsellors draw on grief models to understand what clients are going through and how best to accompany them. Early stage models, particularly Kübler-Ross's five stages, entered popular culture, but they were developed from work with dying patients and are not supported as a fixed sequence for bereaved people. Contemporary models describe grief as more active, fluid and individual.
Worden's four tasks of mourning
J. William Worden frames grief as a set of tasks that the bereaved person works through, often returning to them over time:
To accept the reality of the loss.
To process the pain of grief.
To adjust to a world without the person who died.
To find an enduring connection with the person who died while embarking on a new life.
The task approach gives the griever agency and helps counsellors notice where someone may be stuck. Worden also identifies mediators of mourning, such as the nature of the relationship, the circumstances of the death and available support.
The dual process model
Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut proposed that healthy grieving involves moving back and forth between two orientations:
Loss orientation: focusing on the person who died, yearning, remembering and feeling the pain of loss.
Restoration orientation: attending to life changes, new roles, practical tasks and moments of respite from grief.
Oscillation between the two is seen as adaptive. The model normalises taking breaks from grief and helps counsellors recognise when someone is overly focused on one orientation at the expense of the other.
Continuing bonds
The continuing bonds perspective, associated with Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman and Steven Nickman, challenged the idea that healthy grief requires letting go. Many bereaved people maintain an ongoing relationship with the person who died through memory, ritual, conversation or values. Counsellors can support bonds that comfort, while gently exploring those that seem to keep a person from engaging with life.
Using grief models in practice
No single model captures every experience of grief. Models are best used as flexible guides rather than checklists, alongside careful listening, cultural sensitivity and attention to risk. Where grief is accompanied by persistent hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm, practitioners should assess risk and consult or refer. Anyone in immediate danger in Ireland should contact 112 or 999.
Further training
The Professional Diploma in Bereavement, Loss & Grief is a live-online programme carrying 60 CPD credits. It covers classic and contemporary grief theory, bereavement counselling skills, complicated and traumatic grief, and ethical practice for counsellors, psychotherapists and allied professionals.
Related ICPS College courses
References
Klass, D., Silverman, P.R. and Nickman, S.L. (eds) (1996) Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Washington, DC: Taylor & Francis.
Stroebe, M. and Schut, H. (1999) 'The dual process model of coping with bereavement: rationale and description', Death Studies, 23(3), pp. 197–224.
Worden, J.W. (2018) Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. 5th edn. New York: Springer.
Important information
This article is educational content for practitioners and learners. It is not a substitute for professional advice, counselling or therapy.
If you are struggling or in distress in Ireland, you can call Samaritans free on 116 123 or text HELLO to 50808 at any time. In an emergency, call 112 or 999.
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