Understanding Shame in Therapy: Working with the Hidden Shadow Self
Written by the ICPS College Academic Team · Reviewed by ICPS College faculty · Last reviewed: September 2026
Shame is often described as the emotion that hides. Clients rarely arrive saying that they feel ashamed; instead, shame appears as silence, self-criticism, perfectionism, anger, withdrawal or an urge to please. Because it is so bound up with how a person sees themselves, shame can quietly shape the whole course of therapy.
Shame and guilt
Guilt is usually about behaviour: I did something wrong. Shame is about the self: I am wrong. Guilt can motivate repair, whereas shame tends to drive hiding and defensiveness. Helping clients separate what they did from who they are is often a turning point.
How shame shows up
A harsh inner critic and constant self-comparison.
Secrecy and difficulty disclosing important experiences.
Defensive patterns such as blame, contempt or intellectualising.
Collapse, freezing or averting the eyes in session.
Addictive or compulsive behaviours that soothe shame for a time.
The shadow self
Jung used the term shadow to describe the parts of the personality we disown because they feel unacceptable. Much of the shadow is formed through shame: qualities that were criticised or ignored in childhood are pushed out of awareness. Working with the shadow invites clients to meet these parts with curiosity, so that energy once spent hiding them becomes available for living.
Working therapeutically with shame
Shame heals in relationship. A consistent, non-judgemental therapeutic presence, careful pacing, attention to ruptures and the practitioner's awareness of their own shame all matter. Compassion-focused, psychodynamic and relational approaches each offer useful ways in.
Explore this area with ICPS College
The Professional Diploma in Shame & the Hidden Shadow Self is a live-online specialist programme carrying 60 CPD credits. It explores shame, self-criticism, secrecy, defensive processes and the hidden shadow self.
Related ICPS College courses
Important information
This article is educational content for practitioners and learners. It is not a substitute for professional advice, counselling or therapy.
If you are struggling or in distress in Ireland, you can call Samaritans free on 116 123 or text HELLO to 50808 at any time. In an emergency, call 112 or 999.
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